Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Dangers of disbelief

I wonder if one can sabotage ones relationship in its fullest potential because he or she does not believe the whispers they hear from the Holy Spirit. Or maybe they don't believe the blatant miracles set before them chalking it up to coincidence. The Biblical examples I have for now are in Numbers 13 and 14 when the 12 representatives from Israel went into the land God promised them to check it out. Ten of the men were totally intimidated and 2 were ready to go into battle believing that the Lord would go before them. Because of the 10 unbelievers they whole of Israel were sentenced to wonder the dessert for 40 years. Not without God, but they could have just gone into the promise land and not the dessert. THEN! When God told Moses to speak to the rock and instead he struck the rock, God said, "Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!" (and it seems Aaron was also taken down with him in this scenario, we don't know the whole story really as far as Aaron's attitude and actions.) Also Zachariah went mute when he didn't believe right away when the Lord said he would be a father. I'm just wondering how many times we miss something amazing from God just by not believing.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016


I wrote this blog three years ago, and never posted, but finding it now was a nice reminder on priorities, incidentally, I still want to go shopping for new pants, but will hold off today. As we continue missionary life in Angola, I am noticing changes in my priorities, that I hope will stick with me wherever I live in the world. I'm not sure if I'm just growing in normal aging wisdom or if it's because of my living in a developing world. You may enlighten me with your responses. But this year I'm realizing the silliness of the weight I place on material things. Specifically how I want others to think of me. (I do realize not everyone thinks of me). How silly is it that we buy new clothes every year, not because our old clothes are worn out, but because we don't want our neighbor to think we are caught in last years style. How silly is it that we need to have a different thing to wear each day for at least three weeks. How silly is it that our closets are so full of clothes that we forget about what is all in there. Well, I think it's silly. I mean, I do think it's silly, but as soon as I walk outside today, I will see a women that I don't know, wearing something that I wish I had. Or I'll see a new style on TV, and begin imagining how good that would look on me; forgetting that I have a closet full of beautiful clothes that are in very good condition, and that fit me well enough. I've decided today, to do my best to change my perspective, (with God's help). Instead of leaving a room, hoping everyone thought my kids were the cutest in their latest clothes. And that I have an amazing body that should be desired. (Embarrassing, but I do think about that.) I hope that I can leave people thinking, "that family loves God" or leave people feeling loved themselves. Can I love people in a way that is noticeable? Do I even love people? I've been praying for the last 18 years, since I learned that I don't love people, I've been praying that God would help me to love Him more, and to love people like He does. And to see people through his eyes. Wow, I can tell you one thing. He does answer that prayer eventually, but it is a burden to love people. And it's amazing to love an unlovable person. But I think, it was so hard for me to love others because I was too busy loving myself. (I'm still pretty busy loving myself) And sometimes you can love someone and ache for them, but cannot help them. That is the hardest and best thing. It's hard because we cannot help them, but it's good because we know who can, and through our great love for that person, we spend notable time praying for him or her-- which is something. So, now I will try, to stop spending so much time, money and effort loving myself and worrying about what others think of me; and work on my loving skills. How can I love that person better? How can I let them know that I love them? What do my kids think that I care about? I hope it's that I love. "Create in me a clean heart oh, Lord; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your Spirit oh Lord, take not your Holy Spirit from me." --Psalms 51:10 "If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. 4Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,…--I Corinthians 13 Thanks for Reading, Lori

Monday, November 14, 2016


I will now venture into the world of blogging in a personal way. I will send my thoughts out into the abyss and wonder if anyone else thinks like me. As I get older, I'm 37, I feel more and more isolated in the way I think. I've grown up reading the Bible, I started serious study when I was 16. As I look back, I see a transformed woman. I cannot relate anymore to that teenager. Prayer is amazing that way. The Lord promises to transform us by the renewing of our minds. (Romans 12:1-2) Not that I have it all together. I'm an emotional, irrational, scattered individual. I love to write, and that is one way I will connect with the world out there. Today, I'm contemplating Numbers 13 and 14 of the Bible, when the Israelite were too afraid to enter the Promise land. It seems that because of their reaction of fear and disbelief, God decided they couldn't enter, they would die in the dessert and the generation after them could come in. I think it shows that God may not provide for those of whom choose disbelief. What if he has something amazing for you and you decide to question if it is possible. As he shows you a miracle, you say, it must be a coincidence. What happens if one spouse in a couple believes a promise or miracle and the other spouse does not? Can one spouse ruin it for the other. Don't we need to work together. In the story of the Israelites and Canaan, there were 12 men that went into Canaan to check it out and only 2 thought they should pursue this land the Lord asked them to pursue. The 10 that were too afraid, were told they would never enter, but the 2 that believed still could not enter until all the others died off. So yes, those whom believed were effected by those that did not believe. I just hope that I can be one that believes when the time is critical. I would love to hear anyone thoughts on this topic. Thanks for reading, Lori